by Frank Rodgers

In my opinion, the hardest part of Ranger School is in Dahlonega, Georgia. We had only eaten 1 meal per day for the past two months, and were literally starving. I had lost at least 25 pounds, and I didn't have 25 pounds to lose.

Desperate for food, my buddy and I had a plan to hide out in the morning and dumpster-dive in the back of the Chow Hall after the instructors leave. We gave up sleep for food (we only got 2 hours of sleep per day anyway) but it was worth it to get some more calories in us.

Around 03:30, we come sneaking up behind the chow hall, and spot our target. Myself and my Ranger buddy are all painted up, black watch caps over our heads, and a used MRE bag to stuff as much food in as we could to save for later.

The RI's (Ranger Instructors) are leaving the chow hall to go wake up the students. We were scheduled to climb Mt. Yonah that day, and wanted the extra energy to make it up. We see one of the civilians throw a trash bag into the dumpster. Bingo.

We climb over the dumpster and break open the garbage bag. Out of it spills the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen... a tray FULL of the main-staple of Army Breakfasts...SOS.

SOS, or "Shit On a Shingle" as it's called, is creamed, chipped beef on toast. It has about 5,000 calories, and is EXACTLY what we need to keep going in the freezing mountain air. We go to town on the food, shoveling it in our mouths by the handful. We are blissfully unaware of the commotion we're making, only that we now have food. God Bless 'em, the SOS was actually still warm. There truly is nothing like warm food in your tummy when you are gaunt with hunger.

Our reverie was interrupted by a Spoon (cook) coming outside for a cigarette. He heard something in the dumpster, and opens the bin, spilling my friend and I out onto the ground. He looks at us in utter disbelief, as he watches us continue to shovel the food into our mouths. He starts laughing at first, and then turns green. He pauses for a second, and utters a phrase that still makes my skin crawl to this day:

"We didn't serve SOS today--that is puke."

"What? Puke? Fuck you spoon...it's SOS. I can taste it."

"Nope. Puke. We served eggs and sausage, with biscuits and gravy. Sarn't Ski got sick and threw up all over his tray. We didn't wanna wash it off, so we threw it away, and now you clowns are eating it."

Oh fuck no.

Oh Jesus Christ...

"BAAARRRRRFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!"

I'm trying my best to hold the "food" down. I know that it's barf, but I'm so desperate for nourishment that I don't wanna throw it up. That explained why it was still warm though. unfortunately, I lost it, and threw up all over the dumpster.

The cook laughed so hard he said he wasn't even gonna tell our RI's on us. We sulked back to our company area like whipped dogs, and everyone else was pissed at us for not bringing any food back.