by Satan's Little Helper

My friend had a subordinate who was not the brightest bulb to land a chance in a light socket. His unit was out on a field exercise during the summer. The ticks in the region were excessive this particular summer, and the unit's chain of command put out an advisory telling the soldiers to be careful of the ticks, and to check themselves regularly.

Well Private Toolbox got a tick. No shit, halfway in the hole of his dick. Instead of doing what any reasonable person would do and go get medical attention, he kept it under his hat and tried to remove the damned thing himself. In the process he tore part of the tick off, but left the remainder. He later told the medical personnel his logic was that he'd "urinate" the remaining part off.

A week or so went by and he got an infection. Once again, rather than do what any reasonable person would do and seek medical attention, he waited, believing it would just go away.

Another couple of days go by, and the infection had gotten bad enough he couldn't urinate because of the pain. He finally seeks medical attention, but at this point, the infection has progressed substantially and guess what? They had to whack part of his penis off.

Regardless of who it was, this story combined with my fire ant experience later drove me to use 100 MPH tape on the inside of my BDU pants to seal off the closest ingress to my schlong. This made taking a piss a bit more complicated a process, but I was willing to put the extra effort into taking a leak to retain a bit of pecker protection from the creepy crawlies.